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Successful Parenting: Eating Chocolate Is Selfcare

Today started out great! I had gotten enough sleep, which is always a luxury for a working mother, and I did all my stretches to keep my body working optimally. Yes! I was off to a great start. I did my energy work and prayers and meditation. I was set.

So off  I go feeling great and ready to start the day. I made breakfast for my daughter and I and took her to work. On the way back I deposited her check and came home. Still feeling great I follow through on my intention to clear off my desks. I have two of them in two different places, one for household business and the other for my consulting and training business. Both looked as if a hurricane hit them both. Papers were everywhere and the bottom of my desks was nowhere to be seen.

As I sort through the papers I am picking up bill after bill after bill. Now I know I’m suppose to be grateful that someone trusted me enough and had faith enough to provide services and let me pay them later. But I tell you I was not feeling great after going through bill after bill. I feel a subtle shift but I ignore it. I’m good I say to myself. I got this. I continue to sort the bills. My husband is there also so I am discussing them with him also. From the bills I move to balancing my check books.

Yes it is double here too, one for the business and one for the household.  So these two activities  take up the entire afternoon until it’s time to stop and pick up my daughter from work. Man I think to myself, it would sure be great for me if she could work longer shifts, four hours is nothing, especially when you are a half hour away. I jump in the car and down the parkway I go only to sit and wait until she is off. Close to 20 minutes past the time she is to suppose to come out here she comes.

I discuss dinner plans and explain to her that I have to stop by the supermarket on the way home. It wont be long I tell her. As I shop and compare prices and plan the dinner menu for the week my phone rings. RING!!!RING!!! RING!!! , RING!!! RING!!!RING!!!!  I see it’s my daughter and then I change into a MONSTER! WHAT!!!!! I yell into the phone. So loud and hard that I even surprise myself. Who is this I think to myself. My daughter is shocked because I am not a yeller and neither of us can recall the last time I yelled. She is obviously hurt”Why are you yelling at me.” She hangs up the phone.

I go home and eat and my husband makes the meal a little bit browner than I wanted but I eat it anyway. He asks ,”Why are you frowning?” I tell him I didn’t know I was frowning. I drink almond milk with the meal and am reminded that this was not the brand I normally drink and I instantly get upset. Where did this rotten mood come from after having such a great day I think to myself. Why am I so angry? What am I angry about?

On the way out of the door to take my daughter to dance class I grab a piece of pecan delight chocolate candy. In the car as I am driving I am beating myself up for eating the candy. Then it dawns on me if this one little piece of candy is going to help me feel like I am getting some satisfaction and enjoyment, then so be. If it keeps me from taking off innocent  people’s heads, that’s okay too.  Beating myself up for eating the candy is not doing me any good, in fact it’s doing more harm than good. I give myself  a break and then let out a sigh. I realize that after I get home I must relax and recharge my batteries. I get to sit still and breathe deeply , breathing out all of the stress of the day. Most importantly l get to not judge myself and beat myself up and I get to express whatever unconscious feelings I might be having on paper. In this way I don’t allow them to be bottled up and build up.

After coming to this conclusion I feel better. I stop feeling like I have to do everything perfectly and have to do everything period. Having a day like this shows me that when I have busy and hectic days like this I have to sandwich them if possible between lighter less taxing days. I get to not take it personally but to be aware of how taxing ripping and running can be. So eating the chocolate was not the end of the world. It gave me satisfaction and brought into my awareness the need to slow down and seek balance. I think that’s great self care. Have you ever had days like this. What did you do to take care of yourself. Please share your comments with us. I’d love to hear from you.

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