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The Importance of Independence In Children

As the parent of an only child my husband and I knew from the start that helping our child to be independent was very important. One  thing that we did that helped this to happen was speaking to her in adult language from day one.

Children build their esteem based on what they can do. This is one of the reasons why they are always wanting to help. As one of my former students put it ” We do it weselves!”, as you can see she was very young and hadn’t mastered the English language yet. Some of us are much older than her, she was 2 at the time, and still have not mastered the language. Anyway one of the quickest ways that you can build an “I can do it” attitude is by reading and talking to your child. You can even do this in the womb you don’t have to wait until they come out. Babies can hear even in the womb. Reading to them in the womb gives them an advantage and a jump on learning the language and speaking it.

Only on rare ocassions and I mean very rare did we talk baby talk to her. She was so adorable, as all babies are so it was not easy. Every now and again we would slip up and say awwwwwmywittlecutiewootiepuddingpie smockatron, in that crazy high pitched voice we use as adults when we talk baby talk to kids. But 98 percent of the time we talked to her like she was a little person in adult language. She was so funny, I breast fed her and when you first start out you don’t know what the heck you are doing. I had my best girlfriend, her godmother, there for support and to coach me.

Well all that reading and talking to her we were doing in the womb, made her believe that once she got out in the real world she could really do this thing called talking. And not only could she talk, according to her, but she felt she could just give you a piece of her mind too! So while I am struggling with her to breast fed she got so frustrated that she started spitting out these sounds. Although you couldn’t underststand what she was saying, you could tell that she was not happy and was letting me know it.

So even in the womb we were speaking to her and before she was 2 she had a really extensive vocabulary and everyone would ask us how old she was and we would tell them and people would not believe us. She spoke so clearly and articulated herself so well that people thought she was so much older. A remember a time we were in the grocery store and I was telling her about what we were going to do after we finished shopping and asked her what she thought about that. So I talked and she waited until I finished and that she babbled some words and then I spoke and we were going back and forth. This lady behind me in the check out was so amazed. She said it’s lie she’s having a conversation with you. I said she is having a conversation with me. She is learning how to converse.


4 Responses to “The Importance of Independence In Children”

  1. Great post, D’Tarelle! I find that it is quite possible to have conversations even with babies (though the little ones don’t answer in words, I know they understand me), and research has proven that even inside the womb, the child is conscious and intelligent and responding to what is happening.

    • D'TaRelle F. Tullis says:

      You are so right Ellen, children are able to respond in the womb. So keep talking to them.

  2. Sarah says:

    I have three small children (aged 2.5, 1.5, and 6 months), so it is very important to me that they can do some things by themselves (and behave while doing it). I simply cannot jump up every time one of them gets stuck, gets hurt, hits another one, whatever.

    A HUGE pet peeve of mine is talking “baby” to children. However, it’s also important to consider that each child is going to develop at different rates. We had my son in speech therapy before he was two because of his lack of verbal development. This didn’t mean that we were doing something wrong and not talking to him, he was just simply focused on other aspects of development (he started walking at 9 months). But at that point, he wasn’t really even babbling. Since then his language has caught up to his age group, but we’ve had to really work with him in that area. My daughter on the other hand (she’ll be two in September) already has about 30-40 words in her vocabulary and will “converse” with you for hours! (however, I will admit that she’s rather hard to understand at times).

    Thank you so much for your time and consideration with this article. Very well-written :-)

    • D'TaRelle F. Tullis says:

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and your compliment. I think that it is wonderful that you take into consideration that all children develop at different rates according to their own schedule. I am also glad that you don’t feel that you were doing anything wrong in your parenting style. Having the knowledge and approach that you have makes parenting a little easier. Keep up the great work and come back and visit again.

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